The Thing 30 (December 1985)

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Where to start? The Beyonder is suicidal this issue, which is pretty stupid. The Thing is some kind of pro-superhero wrestler, which is also pretty stupid. What else….

No, those two pretty much cover the big stupid parts. Then there’s the wrestling politics, the promotors trying to make it in that hard world, which isn’t so much stupid as dated.

But, I suppose an issue about the Thing becoming a homicidal maniac is probably going to have a lot of problems.

I was a little surprised when the issue didn’t waver at that issue. The Thing does beat the Beyonder to death (only to discover the Beyonder can’t die). The love interest tries to stop the Thing but she doesn’t. Instead, he “murders” someone and still gets the girl.

The moral of the story appears to be to use your fists whenever possible. And to drink lots of Heineken.

CREDITS

Above and Beyond; writer, Mike Carlin; penciller, Ron Wilson; inker, Dennis Janke; colorist, Bob Sharen; letterer, Jack Morelli; editor, Mark Gruenwald; publisher, Marvel Comics.

Robocop: Wild Child 1 (January 2005)

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What can I possibly say about this comic book? This partial comic book (it only runs twelve or thirteen pages, though Avatar charge three bucks for it). It barely features Robocop and does so in what I assume was going to be the Avatar Robocop continuity, which never got off the ground (the company, OCP, is in ruins, the cops are on strike–Robocop and Lewis are the only two working cops).

It’s a deep dark secret from the past coming into the present story, only the exact nature of the secret is never clear. A relative of Lewis’s returns to wreck havoc on Detroit and it’s up to Lewis and Robocop to stop her. Without killing her because she might be Lewis’s sister or her cousin or her neighbor’s second cousin’s mailman’s sister’s step-child.

I’m sure Grant was being intentionally opaque, but it’s really awful. The whole thing.

F 

CREDITS

Writer, Steven Grant; artist, Carlos Ferreira; publisher, Avatar Press.

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