Secret Wars II 6 (December 1985)

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The issue ends with the Beyonder trying to “forgot” this chapter in his experiences; if only the reader were so lucky.

Besides featuring all of the cosmic–sorry–conceptual beings (along with an introduction to each), it’s the Beyonder plays superhero and turns it into a business. It’s all exceedingly lame, except at the end when the Beyonder has to bring Death back to life, going from a female who’s been around since the beginning of time to some lame reporter creation of Shooter’s. Shooter never gets into it whether the conceptual beings, next time they get busy with their “lover” Death, will now be gay?

Milgrom’s art is real sloppy this time around; maybe the deadlines were getting to him.

Secret Wars II is almost over and I think I’m safe saying it’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. Shooter must’ve thought Marvel readers were brain dead.

CREDITS

Life Rules!; writer, Jim Shooter; penciller, Al Milgrom; inker, Steve Leialoha; colorist, Minny Hands; letterer, Rick Parker; editor, Bob Budiansky; publisher, Marvel Comics.

Robocop vs. the Terminator 3 (November 1992)

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Let’s see if I can recap. The future lady doesn’t kill Robocop because he’s too human so Robocop goes off and kills himself. Wait, wait, I forgot the opening with the Terminators colonizing outer space (another thing Cameron wisely neglected wasting time on–what do the Terminators do once they take over the planet?). Ok, so then the future is okay and all the Terminators get erased from it and the people experience them getting erased, kind of like Back to the Future again. It’s very song and dance.

But then the Terminators, as they’re being erased, race back in time (I love how they just zap through time all the time in the comics) to stop Robocop’s suicide. Then they destroy his body and kill his friends. So then Robocop plants a virus in the Terminator computer so he can come back in the future.

It’s an awful comic.

CREDITS

Writer, Frank Miller; artist, Walt Simonson; colorist, Rachelle Monashe; letterer, John Workman; editor, Randy Stradley; publisher, Dark Horse Comics.

Robocop 5 (July 1990)

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Robocop goes to war. It’s an interesting idea, Robocop being used as a military weapon–leased out by his owners, instead of policing–but Grant seems more concentrated on the action potentials for this issue. There’s a lot of suggestions the morality of it will come into play next issue, but for now, it’s Robocop versus weird and wacky war weapons (he fights these motorcycle troopers who look like they’re out of a Road Warrior cartoon).

Grant seems to be revealing up the backstory gradually–it seems like a bunch of starving African refugees are going to Spain, who’s either refusing them or sticking them in concentration camps–and it’s hard to believe there’s not going to be some kind of double cross. Not with all the foreshadowing.

So, points for concept, deductions for common sense–what about sand in Robocop’s gears and such.

Grant should’ve thought of that one.

CREDITS

War – Part 1: War Monger!; writer, Alan Grant; penciller, Lee Sullivan; inker, Kim DeMulder; colorist, Steve White; letterer, Richard Starkings; editor, Gregory Wright; publisher, Marvel Comics.

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