Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man 111 (February 1986)

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As far as lame battles go, I think Puma vs. Beyonder–actually continuing it–is about as lame as you can get.

Maybe it’s just Priest’s writing (The issue credits Priest, online says Peter David wrote it. Hmm. Who’s really at fault?). I usually like it, but here it’s tired. Between the blabbering thought balloons (for every character) to Peter Parker man-slutting*, it’s just a mess.

The art might add significantly to the pain–I know it made me hurry through the comic so I could stop looking at it. Buckler’s inks are by the bullpen and it hurts. Though his pencils aren’t wowing to begin with.

So a c-list character duking it out with the lead of an enormous crossover event?

Spider-Man’s barely in here.

* Apparently, when Joe Quesada says marriage ruined Peter Parker, he meant Peter’s ability to successfully objectify every female character he encounters.

CREDITS

And Then the Gods Cried; writer, Peter David; penciller, Rich Buckler; inker, M. Hands; colorist, Nelson Yomtov; letterer, Janice Chiang; editors, Adam Blaustein and Christopher Priest; publisher, Marvel Comics.

Robocop: Roulette 2 (January 1994)

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Twenty-four pages of story and nothing really happens. I mean, clearly, things happen. There’s a fight, there’s an argument with the dumb detective, there’s Robocop’s girlfriend–she’s not his girlfriend but whatever (Byrd draws her middle aged, clearly not basing her off the very young Jill Hennessy who played her in the movie), there’s a surprise at the end, there are callbacks to previous Dark Horse titles.

There’s just no content. Robocop is, in the Dark Horse comics, a boring character. He’s outlived his usefulness, dramatically, and it’s just a mess. He doesn’t fight crime anymore, he fights the limited series’s villains, which just makes him a cartoon, cookie cutter superhero.

There’s got to be something I like about it….

I guess the design work on the bad robot is pretty well done. It looks a little like the Robocop 2 in the movie, but it’s still different enough.

CREDITS

Writer, John Arcudi; penciller, Mitch Byrd; inker, Brian Garvey; colorist, Jim Sinclair; letterer, Pat Brosseau; editor, Jennie Bricker; publisher, Dark Horse Comics.

Robocop 16 (June 1991)

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Wow, what an issue. The villain has a TV for a head. Luckily, Robocop kills him without thinking much about it and so there won’t be any further appearances by… oh, right, Furman doesn’t even give him a name. Umm… Mr. TV Head.

And then there’s the really stupid part where Furman decides “The Old Man” from the movies doesn’t have a real name, which is maybe the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard. Or if he does have a real name, he doesn’t remember it… right….

The issue’s content–television shows beamed directly into the viewers’ minds–reminds a little of Batman Forever. It’s the first time Furman’s concepts have predated the more known pop culture items. Grant usually had one such item an issue. I guess Furman wasn’t as innovative.

It’s not a terrible comic–art’s pretty weak, but not incompetent–just useless; hard to stay conscious during.

CREDITS

TV Crimes; writer, Simon Furman; penciller, Andrew Wildman; inker, Danny Bulanadi; colorist, Gregory Wright; letterer, Ken Lopez; editor, Rob Tokar; publisher, Marvel Comics.

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